Legends

Every society has legends. Powerful stories, passed on from generation to generation, to awe, inspire and instill virtue and character in the youth of the time.

For example, ancient Greeks told of Odysseus, the mighty and cunning warrior who devised the plan for the Trojan horse, and suffered at the hands of various gods as he struggled to get back home to his beloved wife.

The Romans would recount the story of Romulus and Remus, twin boys fathered by the god Mars, who avoided an early death at the hand of their jealous grandfather, and went on to found both the city and empire of Rome.

Even in Britain, my home country, people still tell of King Arthur, the chivalrous leader of England, , vanquishing foes with the help of a magical sword and his knights of the round table.

So, what legend do we have in the good ol' 21st century U.S. of A?

I'll tell you.

Bengay.

That's right, Bengay. Other civilizations had Ben-Hur, we get Bengay.

Let me explain... I was watching TV the other night when an ad came on.

Some people I know tend to mute the sound during ads. I do not like this practise. Maybe I'm not strong enough to turn away, but muting ads doesn't make me stop watching them, it just makes me try to lip-read. I can't lip-read, so this becomes very frustrating. So, stop muting the ads already, OK? If you want to avoid them, just turn the TV off for a couple of minutes.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah, an ad for some adhesive bandage first aid thing came on. You know the sort of thing, someone breaks a leg or loses an eye, and everything is made better by an adhesive bandage (with or without current character logos). Then, as everyone smiles (including the person with the formerly broken leg or missing eye), a retired auctioneer on speed reads the 4,378 word disclaimer.

Anyway, during this ad, the announcer was quick to state that this was the only bandage infused with the LEDGENDARY BENGAY!!!

I don't know about you, but I have never (and probably will never) gather the kids around to hear of the awe-inspiring LEGEND OF BENGAY.

But if I do, and one of the children trips and falls on me, causing me to pull a muscle, I'll know exactly which adhesive-bandage-type-product to use.